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Writing from the Columbia River Basin

Christmas in July

Christmas in July

OFFICIAL RULES (as dictated, mostly, by Ned Perry)

1) On Christmas in July Eve, scramble around Salmon, Idaho trying to find the appropriate Christmas gift. Wrap in an old Spanish Pilaf cardboard box or black garbage bag, or newspaper if you are overachieving.

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2) Don’t give in when your coworkers demand to know what your gift is.

3) Mandatory pre-party palate wetting on the sweep boat.

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4) Everyone draws a number. Don’t forget your number, even if you are number 17.

5) The first person selects and opens their gift.

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6) The next person (number two) can either select a new, unwrapped gift OR challenge a past number for their gift.

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7) Challenges must involve physical feats of valor. It’s too cold to swim across the river today.

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8) If you get iced, you better drink it.

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9) If there are more than two rainbow unicorn gifts, you know you’re hanging with the correct crowd.

10) Spend Boxing Day at Sheepeater Hot Springs in party recovery.

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